Postpartum Scaries
Setting up for success during uncertain times
Remember Sunday Scaries before COVID? I'd get so anxious about the weekend ending, dreading the Monday morning commute and a full week in the office. It wasn't necessarily UGH, I am dreading work — it always ended up being totally fine, and the week was usually great (or at least OK).
Well…I’m having a version of this but what I am calling the Postpartum Scaries.
With my first pregnancy, I had labor scaries. Will it hurt? How will I know what to do? What if I poop on the table? But I didn't do much prep work around labor or postpartum. I was so focused on the pregnancy itself that I didn't think a whole lot about what comes after. And… boy oh boy, was I surprised.
A quick note that everyone’s postpartum experience is so incredibly different. And, it varies even with your own pregnancies (or so my friends with multiple kiddos have explained to me).
Here’s my personal account of my first postpartum experience - the good, the bad, the ugly. TMI ahead - reader beware.
Lovely labor, as good as it gets
A teeny tiny postpartum room with literally no room to move. When can I get out of here??
Unable to move from the waist down after my epidural — as someone who loves movement, this felt really hard
Couldn’t pee, so the night nurse put in a catheter at 3 AM with zero warning — instant pain, and my terror with postpartum officially began
Night sweats soaking through my pajamas and sheets, waking up drenched and shivering
A very hungry boy who wasn’t patient for the boob and had trouble latching - crying from the both us
Breast milk leaks all day and night — quickly learning about sleeping in a bra with disposable pads
Mastitis within the first week: fever, chills, and then six weeks of constant clogged ducts
My entire family rolling in HOT to our 1,200 sq ft condo on day four of postpartum, right as the baby blues were kicking in — they brought beer, my screaming 11-month-old nephew, and everyone wanted to pass the baby while I cried in bed texting my best friend and begging my husband Charlie to KICK THEM OUT
Insert Semisonic Closing Time - the theme song of my college party life. Uncontrollable crying and hormones completely out of control — sadness, confusion, happiness, and just… weird emotions
Inability to sit without a donut pillow (the Boppy is not just for breastfeeding, ladies)
Ice packs after every bathroom break — who knew there was a whole routine after you pee?!
Serious lack of sleep — and I love sleep
Nausea and no appetite, but when hunger did hit, no idea how to feed myself because I was too exhausted to cook: ice cream, Insomnia Cookie delivery, and pizza
And for the next eight-ish months… postpartum depression I’d never experienced before, and no idea where to turn for help
Looking back…easy pregnancy ✅ easy labor ✅ postpartum 😈 BUT, it was all worth it for my little angel.
Naturally, I’m having postpartum scaries this time around. As a marketing professional who is obsessed with planning, I’m always thinking ahead and trying to prevent problems before they occur. So I’m writing out a list of things I’m doing to prepare — and mantras I’m holding onto — to help me through this time.
There is so much magic in delivering a baby, but there’s also so much uncertainty that it can be terrifying. And unfortunately, in America, there is almost no focus on the mom once the baby has been delivered. She’s left to fend for herself — something I’m now a fierce advocate against, having lived it firsthand. I’ve also learned through my studies at Institute for Integrative Nutrition how integral mental and emotional health is to the whole body, and this is what I’m prioritizing above all else this time around.
HOW TO PREVENT POSTPARTUM SCARIES
🧹 Nesting
That sudden urge to organize, purge, and clean everything in sight? It’s real, it’s hormonal, and I’m leaning all the way in. Having a clean, organized space has always been a safe haven for me.
What I’m purging: clothes that don’t fit, the 30 wine glasses from our wedding (into the basement they go), camping gear I will never use because I hate camping and love my bed, and all the baby clothes from pregnancy #1 — oohing and aahing over how stinking cute they are.
Tip: Organize the absolute essentials — easy baby pajamas, sheets, swaddles, mom pajamas, and postpartum goodies — all in one place.
🍲 Meal Prep & Nourishing Food
A few favorites I’m stocking the freezer with:
Bolognese — Ambitious Kitchen (perfect for the whole family, toddlers included)
Protein Overnight Oats — Rachael Good Eats’ new cookbook, The High Protein Plate
Rachael actually wrote this entire cookbook while postpartum, so most recipes are built to support new mamas and are designed to be easy to make. Highly recommend.
💅 Treat Yourself / Self Care
Hair day — I’ve booked a cut and color three days before my due date. Here’s hoping he doesn’t come early 😉
Pedicure — I’m against manis since having my first, but please, someone massage and clean my feet
Girlfriend nights — I’ve been having weekly mama nights with my closest friends before baby arrives, and I forgot what it’s like to socialize past 7 PM
New outfit — I’m not squeezing into things I know won’t fit. I already have my eye on my favorite set from Aritzia (the sail set) that I lived in all through my last postpartum and pregnancy
📋 Non-Negotiables
My favorite thing in the world is hanging out with my son and husband — but mamas need to prioritize themselves and their alone time too (and so do your partners).
We’re building a list of non-negotiables to carry us through this period. For me, that looks like: a weekly uninterrupted face mask with a book, a solo walk during the day, a monthly mani-pedi, one night a week to myself in the guest room, weekly ice cream dates with my toddler, and 10 minutes a day of breathwork and Sculpt Society.
☀️ Sunlight
Thank goodness summer is approaching. Knowing the nights will be hard isn’t quite as daunting when the sun is shining late into the evening and early in the morning.
🤝 Asking for Help — and Setting Boundaries
I am a fiercely independent person who doesn’t usually want or need help. But I have changed since my first postpartum experience, and I’m so much more comfortable asking for it now.
That said, I’m also not afraid to set boundaries this time. Sorry Mom — no sleeping over in our 1,200 sq ft apartment. And no big group family visits, at least not right away.
🌬️ Pelvic Floor Breathing
This time, I’m starting pelvic floor breathing exercises before my six-week checkup — because they’re 100% safe and will lead to faster healing and better recovery. I’ve been doing Megan Roup Sculpt Society since COVID, and it’s been my go-to for strength, sculpt, and pelvic breathwork throughout this entire pregnancy. Cannot recommend the platform enough.
🗺️ Maternity Leave Bucket List
We did this with our first maternity leave and loved having a running list of activities rated from least to most challenging — from “walk around the block” all the way up to “drive to upstate NY for Thanksgiving.” We use the Cozi app for planning and our family calendar, and it’s been a game changer.
💛 The Little Things to Remember
It’s all temporary
I don’t know how many more postpartum experiences I’ll have, so I want to savor every bit of it
Breast is not best — formula today is amazing - special shoutout to Bobbie
Give myself grace: I do not need to bounce back immediately, and if it’s a beautiful day but I need to nap instead, that is A-OK
They are only this small once
I have a village — I just need to use it
Amazon delivers overnight
I can eat oysters and have wine again
Women are incredible
Nourishment for Postpartum
Why don’t doctors tell us how to actually heal after birth? No mention of supplements, foods to prioritize, vitamins that help, or what kind of movement to start. Instead, mamas are seen six weeks later and told whether they can have sex and work out again. That’s it.
Nourishment isn’t just about healing physical wounds from childbirth — it’s about nourishing your brain and supporting yourself through one of the most mentally taxing seasons of life, compounded by sleep deprivation and a hormone tidal wave.
First, I want to share how other cultures support new mamas — because outside of Western culture, there are beautiful practices, rituals, and ceremonies built entirely around the recovery and respect of mothers. Somewhere along the way, we lost this. What many of these traditions prioritize: a nutrient-dense postpartum diet, helpers on hand so mama can rest, and protected time — privacy, care, and space for both baby and mom to bond.
China — Zuo yue zi, meaning “sitting the moon” or “the sitting month.” Mom does not leave the house for 4–5 weeks. Her role is to breastfeed while her mother-in-law handles all food prep and chores. She is kept warm, rested, and nourished with special chicken, soup, eggs, and milk.
Korea — San-ho-jori, lasting about 21 days. Mama sleeps, eats, and nurses while being provided hot tea and seaweed soup to support milk production.
India — Practices vary by region. In North India, “mother roasting” keeps mama warm for up to 40 days, literally by firelight. In Punjab, warming foods are prioritized. In coastal regions, mama is fed a special fish dish cooked with ginger, pepper, dill, and garlic.
Native American — The most common practice is “lying time,” where women attend to the new mama by pampering her with nourishment, grooming, washing, steam lodge sessions, and massage.
The throughline across all of these? Mama is fed well. Mama rests. Mama and baby are protected. And it’s woven into their culture — it doesn’t cost thousands of dollars the way postnatal recovery centers do here.
So while we may not have these rituals built into American culture, we can work toward this standard of care in our own way. Here’s how I’ll be nourishing myself:
🥗 Nourishing Foods
Omega-3s - I’m realllyyyy hoping I can get back to enjoying seafood again like Wild Salmon
Protein — I’m aiming for 1g per pound of body weight, or as close as I can get. That means ~40g of protein per meal and protein-rich snacks throughout the day. Bone broth, I’m coming for you.
Whole foods & healthy fats — following a Mediterranean-style diet is a beautiful framework here. Rachael Good Eats’ cookbooks are my go-to.
Antioxidants: berries (especially blueberries), avocado, dark leafy greens, eating the rainbow, matcha, nuts, seeds, and spices
Limiting takeout and ultra-processed foods where possible — sorry Insomnia Cookies, you’re reserved for true emergencies only
🏃 Movement
Pelvic floor breathing to reconnect mind-muscle awareness and begin rebuilding the pelvic floor muscles that naturally weaken during pregnancy.
😴 Rest
Naps and sleep (obviously, but worth saying)
Sunlight — it genuinely heals. Mood booster, circadian reset, free therapy.
Additional Resources to Help with Postpartum Scaries
Postnatal Depletion Cure by Dr. Oscar Serrallach
Therapy
Mom Groups
In Boston I signed up for a weekly 10 week PP mama support group
Mom What’s App or Facebook groups - there are so many and if you don’t have one in your neighborhood, start your own!
I found one of my mom friends through our neighborhood What’s App - come to find out that her son was born on the same day as my son and she lives on the same street us me. We went for weekly carrier walks with our sons.
Mom Friends
We love our partners but it’s so important to have mom friends who are at the same stage of life and can relate to everything going on
Meal Train - not doing it this time around because everyone of my friends is having a baby at the same time but don’t be afraid to ask a friend to set one up for you - food is love language and food is healing
Reminding myself that it’s OK to be emotional during this time and that multiple emotions can coexist at once. Postpartum is undoubtedly scary, but it's also one of the most beautiful, magical chapters of life. And like everything, it's fleeting — and I cannot wait to soak up every single moment with my two little angel boys.
xx
Caroline
